


Oust

by methylene (Glommus)



Series: Thoughts after Pacific Rim: Uprising [3]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Gen, I just want everyone to be okay, M/M, Post-Movie: Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018), Spoilers for Pacific Rim: Uprising
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 15:40:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14108628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glommus/pseuds/methylene
Summary: Hermann's going to confront his fears.





	Oust

**Author's Note:**

> Probably the last part I post, unless I get some epic inspiration for another installment. Thanks for reading, and for bearing with my terrible writing as I attempt to get a grip on myself.

Looking back, Hermann wonders if maybe he should've seen this coming.  
Newton was a dear friend, and had been for a very long time, regardless of the rough patches where the two of them didn't always get along. They'd stick up for each other, defend each other, and comfort each other. They'd been friends before they detested one another, and even through the apocalypse that friendship had never wavered.  
Hermann had never quite been able to understand Newt's study of the kaiju. The heart wants what the heart wants, and for Hermann that had always been the comfort and logic of numerical data. Other desires pulled at him, but through all of life's bullshit (Hermann thinks Newton would laugh if he found out he'd committed vulgarity to his vocabulary), the one true constant in Hermann's life would always be the fact that the numbers can't lie. Newts heart, however, didnt find solace in the calm logic of numbers-- this, Hermann knew firsthand. He thinks that perhaps he is closer to understanding Newton's need to study life as a whole than he is to understanding many integral things about himself.   
Hermann thought he understood what drifting was like. All of the studies, the peer-reviewed journals and raw data surrounding the neural handshake were perfectly logical. He understood that it was as though another person was occupying your brain, and he thought he understood what that meant.  
Drifting with Newt, with the kaiju hive, only showed him how very wrong he'd been in his understanding. Drifting with Newton was a force in and of itself; he'd felt himself so intertwined with Newt that he was uncertain which memories belonged where, or to whom.  
But he hadn't been drifting with just Newt. The onslaught from the kaiju, the reason they'd initiated the drift in the first place, was overwhelming. And yet, through the influx of indecipherable information, Hermann could still feel Newton in his mind, recall his memories. He felt that had to account for something.  
Jakw Pentecost had asked him how he was so certain that Newton wasn't in total control. Hermann had told him that this behavior was, quite literally, impossible. Impossible that Newton Geiszler's love of life- be it human, plant, or something else- could ever be cast aside so drastically. Newtons love of life was his driving force, his reason for living, for fighting. This, Hermann knew.  
What he didn't know was how Newt had allowed things to get this far, this out of hand. He didn't know exactly what had made Newton think that drifting with the kaiju brain on his own again was a good idea, or why he had neglected to mention it to Hermann in the first place during one of the moments he was more in control, because Hermann knew he was still in there. He'd interacted with Newton, the real Newton, before the Shao drones were deployed. Just for a moment, Newton was there. Just for a moment, things were back to normal.  
If, that is, Newton crying out about control and things in his head could be considered normal.  
So Hermann wonders. Wonders what he could have done differently, what he could have done to save his friend, his best friend, from his own curiosity.  
They say hindsight is 20/20.   
That, Hermann reasons, is why he has no other choice. He must confront his fears, his worries- and that means getting into Newton's head. There had to be a way.

 

 

"I figured you'd end up actually coming inside sooner or later," The thing with Newton's voice drawled, sounding bored.  
Hermann swallowed thickly, eyeing his friend nervously. He hadn't even moved far enough from the doorframe for the door to properly close.  
"What, you didn't think I could feel you standing outside the door all this time? We've drifted, dude. I'm in your head."  
"You most certainly are not," Hermann hissed, surprised at his knee-jerk reply, moving away from the doorway. "I drifted with Newton Geiszler, not whatever nature of thing you happen to be."  
It laughed, flexing against its restraints. "That's where you're wrong, dude. We're kinda the same thing now. A package deal. Though," It creased its eyebrows, its expression a mockery of thoughtfulness. "I don't think he's got much to do with anything anymore. When we first started this whole shebang, when he decided he didn't need you to drift with us again, we had a deal. He did as we told him, and we didn't mess with him too much."  
Hermann's expression had slowly turned from angry to horrified as he listened. "What have you done to him?"  
It laughed again, its voice morphing into some thing that was very much not Newton Geiszler, the way it had when they'd captured it. "That's the kicker- we didn't do a thing. Not a thing that he didn't really do to himself by letting us in. He's gone, Herms."  
Hermann shuddered. "Do not- he is not gone. You said it was a compromise before, what does that make it now?"  
"It makes it nothing. If there's any of him left all he's buried so deep you'll never get him out. As soon as he started questioning us, as soon as he considered giving you a call and telling you everything, we put a stop to doing things his way." It grinned up at Hermann, its eyes manic in a terrifying way that was so reminiscent of Newton after he'd made an exciting discovery it made Hermann nauseous while simultaneously making his heart ache.  
"He- he tried to tell me?" Hermann's voice came out quieter than he'd anticipated. He'd almost decided it was too quiet and attempted to repeat its words when he heard the thing with Newton's face speak, its voice quiet.  
"Yes." It seemed to take a deep breath before that awful smile was back, stretching inhumanly across Newton's features. "Yes, and we didn't even let him get to the phone before we made him stop. Forced him into the shadows. He's a tough little guy, a lot tougher than we gave him credit for. He's even been able to oust us from the spotlight briefly. Oust," It repeated, thoughtful. "Weird little word. You scientists!" It grinned up at Hermann.  
Hermann suddenly felt himself overtaken by rage, though he wasn't sure if it was making him want to pummel the thing its face or break down into tears.  
"That means he's still in there. You mark my words," Hermann suddenly found himself striding closer. With a burst of broken courage, he leaned right into the thing's face. "If anyone can get Newton Geiszler back, it will be me. And it will be soon."  
The smirk was gone from the thing's face.  
Hermann scowled at it before slowly backing away. "Don't get comfortable."

**Author's Note:**

> Come chat with me!  
> https://acridine-orange.tumblr.com/


End file.
